The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

Between birthday and just awesomeness coming out, I just don’t have time for all the games I want to play. This is frustrating, especially since I only tend to write about games I’ve finished on here, most of the time. I go for the “review” and things. But now I’m worried. As much as I want to, I may have trouble finding the time to finish DEADLY PREMONITION. I feel the need to talk about it. So here are some impressions. I’m almost done with the third chapter, for those who are actually in the know about this game. No spoilers or anything, though.

Basically, I find DEADLY PREMONITION incredibly fascinating. Also, I find it a game title I feel required to put in caps, but that’s beside the point. Here is a game that is, at times, so amazingly subtle and well-acted, but at others, is completely stupid, clunky, and ridiculous. It’s just kind of mind-blowing. During a conversation with Brer, he said he wanted to play it because what I was saying kind of reminded him of the weird-ass, obscure Russian PC games he likes. You know the ones: Ambition far, far outstrips budget, but they don’t let that stop them. They try to do everything anyway, with weird results. Add in an odd translation, and you almost always have a mindtrip. I feel like that fits DEADLY PREMONITION perfectly. That’s exactly how I feel about it. It’s mechanics way, way outstrip its budget, which is only enough to make a game that looks mostly like a PS1 game. The underlying soul of the game, though, is outstanding.

Let me tell you what I meant about subtlety. Agent York Morgan is amazingly well-acted. His in-game avatar is awkward and creepy. When his in-game model smiles, you want to scream in terror. But his voice actor is, honestly, amazing. He’s really genuine. I really feel like I get this completely insane dude. He seems real, because he’s being played as real, even in the completely fucked up scenario the game is putting him in. He does little subtle things, like raises his voice a notch or two around elderly NPCs so they can hear him better. He has genuine emotion. It’s almost mind-blowing to see in a game with shooting controls that are potentially worse than the original Resident Evil.
NPCs are similarly well acted. Some of the smaller characters are less well done, but the rest of the main cast has very genuine voice talent behind them. I honestly can’t decide if these are all very, very passionate amateurs who are really getting into the roles, or if they just hired people who were that good. I honestly can say I rarely see voice acting this good in a video game. It’s even more surreal that it stays good, even when they’re saying ridiculous, almost engrish-y lines.

Basically, it’s the voice acting that makes me sit there and wonder if all the janky, low-budget aspects of this game were on purpose or not. There is a grasp of storytelling at play here that the graphics and gameplay might make you think does not exist. It really makes me think I should be looking very deep into every aspect of the game, and try to find meaning.

Then again, I’m probably just giving it the benefit of the doubt because it is charming me. But still, I’m enjoying it, actually. I really am.

After I have an experience such as a birthday, which I have recently had this Wednesday, I tend to record my haul, partially because I am excited about it, and partially so I can say thank you for awesome in a public setting. I don’t know why this year would be any different, although I’ve been so busy it’s taken me a few days to write it up, as you can tell. So, without further ado, here’s my lovely haul for this year’s birthday!

Jonathan got me a Pokewalker! Uh, I mean, Pokemon Soul Silver. I’m much more excited about the Pokewalker. Can you tell? I’m probably going to write a review of just the Pokewalker soon! But no, this was exactly what I was wanting. It was kind of frustrating hearing everyone talk about it, but knowing I should hold off until my birthday for just this reason. I’ve got eggs from Spants so I have the exact Pokemin I want, and I’m rocking that Pokewalker all day. It’s great.

Shauna got me something… IN THE FUTURE. Apparently there’s a new Dominion expansion, called Alchemy, which is coming out in the next month. She has preordered this for me. This is awesome. I didn’t even know it existed until a bit ago, and now I am going to have it delivered to me. Dominion is still a fucking amazing card game, and I’m not tired of it yet. Bring on more expansions, I say!

Speaking of things in the future, my friends apparently ordered me something that I’ll be getting IN THE FUTURE as well. They did not tell me what it was in a crazy singing Pokemon card like Shauna did, though. Still, they have good taste. I’m sure it’ll be neat.

The parents hooked me up with both current Race for the Galaxy expansions, which I’m sure I will talk about my first time playtesting in a later blog. Short version: they’re pretty awesome. But my mom really had to jump through some hoops and bribe people to order things she knew nothing about it get me these, so I appreciate that. She also got me a copy of FFXIII on the Xbox 360. (Yeah, yeah, it’s supposedly the shittier version, but seriously, I don’t give a crap about visual fidelity. I’d rather have my achievements and useful friends list.) I have no idea when I am going to play the damn thing, but I am excited about doing it. FFXIII has really gotten me excited with its linear nature. I’m unsure I’ll enjoy the hand-holding tutorialness most of the way through, but we’ll see. I want to try.

And, of course, the parents and grandparents were nice enough to supply me with cold-hard cash. Enough that I could pay off my pretty new TV and my new lappy, respectively, which is very much appreciated. Since, you know, I use those all the damn time. Heh.

Oh! I was just going over the party at my house! I can’t forget people who gave me presents outside this setting. For example, Kale got me this completely awesome shirt a few weeks early for the birthday times. It’s awesome. I’ve been complimented about it quite a bit. Brer got me Kate Beaton’s Never Learn Anything From History book, which is sweet, due to the fact that Kate Beaton is fucking awesome.

Thanks to everyone who celebrated my birthday. I swear I got more birthday wishes and recognition for not dying for another year than I ever had before. Even my psychologist sang me happy birthday. It’s… great to be so loved. So fucking great. Thank you.

We had another night of Munchkin on Monday, and it was mostly good times. We played the original, which I picked up (which apparently made Shauna playfully angry, since she had suggested getting the game for me and Jonathan said that it wasn’t my kind of game) and I’m sure you’ll see a review of that tomorrow. Because it’s apparently Munchkin Week here at the bloeg. But for now I’m going to talk about something pointless, stupid, and depressing related to Munchkin. Ready? Okay.

I hate gender-based mechanics in casual games.

Okay, that description really doesn’t describe the phenomenon I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is casual games where game mechanics are based upon the player’s actual gender. This is normally done for funny joke time, to break the ice, or to give female players an advantage because the designers are assuming their boyfriends tricked them into playing or some shit.

Obviously, I’m a bit sensitive to such things. They put me in awkward situations.

Example from Monday. We were playing Cthulhu Munchkin again. I draw an early game Chibithulhu. I can easily beat it at the “male” difficulty, but at the “female” difficulty, I don’t have enough equipment. Everyone knows I have this card in my hand, due to a weird drawing snafu. If I am male, the right thing to do is to look for trouble, play Chibithulhu, take the extra treasure from being an Investigator, and level up. Everyone knows I have the card, and everyone knows I can kill it if this is the case. If I hold onto the card and don’t play it, I am, in their eyes, making an obvious play mistake.
This really, really, really bothers me for some reason. I try to learn rules and master them. I find that fun. I also don’t believe in playing at anything less than the best of your ability, as I find throwing the game only insults the people you’re playing with. (There are exceptions for humor value, of course, but in general, I feel this way.) I tried holding onto the card in reality. I didn’t play it for two turns. It drove me crazy. I didn’t want to seem like I was handicapping myself.
At the same time, I could have insisted I was female, I suppose. All but one person at the table I had had the talk with. That, however, seemed like I would be intentionally disrupting and ruining a fun night. We were all having a good time. Why should I be ruining it with my stupid bullshit?

I ended up playing the card, and asking for help to kill the monster. Everyone at the table complained. “What are you doing? You don’t need help to kill that.” I gave in, took my treasure, swallowed my feelings on the matter, and kept playing.

But it obviously bothered me enough to write a bloeg about it.

And that is why gender-based mechanics suck. The end.
Okay, I guess I didn’t actually prove that. Just that I hate them. I understand why they exist, and I think that’s a fine thing. Nothing wrong with breaking the ice in such games. But dammit, it’s stupidly hard. Annoying. Yes.

And that’s it for that rant. Stay tuned for more stupidity.

Yay for me.

It’s another time passing marker. I get presents for not dying. I’m down with that, I guess. And at least, this time around, I can’t say I’ve sat on my laurels. Look at all the shit I’ve accomplished since last time I had a birthday. I got a college degree. I started grad school. I finally got my ass in gear and started actually useful therapy. I’ve done shit. The list is only going to grow next year, too.

To everyone who might want to celebrate with me: thanks. I really do appreciate it. More than you know. I’ve been out of it recently, so I may not seem super excited. Maybe a little low key. But know that having you around is some of the best stuff in my life. I can’t ask for a better gift than you all, as cheesy and silly as that is.
Just don’t call me “birthday boy.” That shit is kind of old. Heh.

But yes, onward and onward. Maybe I’ll take a break today. I don’t know if I really can, but maybe I will anyway. Maybe I’ll relax and feel good. That’d be awesome. Maybe I’ll grow older, keep doing the shit I love, and do more stuff I need to do every day. That’d be awesome too.

Let’s be honest. Everything has a very real possibility of exploding in my face. Everything is made of gunpowder. I’m risking igniting it.

I stared at the ceiling for hours, realizing I don’t have a plan if this fails. My life, for the longest time, has been leading up to trying to make this transition happen. If it fails, if I can’t pass, if nobody accepts me, what happens then? The correct answer is, I guess, that I continue on in some capacity. Somehow, I keep going. I survive.

But that seems so unbearable. Things are already unfair. I shouldn’t feel like this, but I do. I shouldn’t have these problems. The idea that I can put it all on the line, and do literally every single thing in my power to fix this, and then still not succeed is… it would crush me completely. I don’t see anything after that point. I’m sure I’d keep going somehow, but I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what life is for me after that point. I don’t.

I can’t let the worst-case scenario stop me, though. I know that if I don’t try to fix this, I will hate myself. I will always worry if I could have removed this cloud over my life, that ruins all the fucking awesome people and awesome things in it. I will never feel like I did the right thing. I need to proceed. And I will proceed. As I’ve said before, nothing is going to stop me now. I’m doing this.

Is it a comfort, though. Is it what reality is. I don’t know. Maybe I have less of a read of the flow of things than I had hoped. Maybe I should expect doom and gloom. I don’t know. I just want to be able to claim myself, and maybe that won’t happen.

But life goes on, I guess.

Ugh… sorry… I haven’t been right all week. All depressed and shit. Don’t let me drag you down.

This month’s IoTM in Twilight Heroes is the Viking Games jersey.

It’s red.

Once again, I think this is an IoTM completely not aimed at me. Does it have an effect I’m not aware of? I don’t think so. I think it’s just a stat-tacular shirt. Anyone not spellcasting would love the buffs on this shirt, and hell, even those who are spellcasting still might pick it over, say, the Letter Shirt if they were wanting that +XP bonus while grinding. Stat-wise, this gives you the sort of strong percentage boosts you might want. It’s nice for that.

However, I’ll say it again and again: I’m not really interested in IoTMs as a pure “better than everything” vector. I want them to provide novelty along with the betterness. I donate for IoTMs to keep me playing. I want them to offer options that change up my game, or just be so cool, a la the Personalized Flair on the previously-mentioned Letter Shirt, that I can’t help but want to wear it. I can think of no situation where I would rather wear this than my Prismatic Sports Bra or my Letter Shirt. Sure, it might be better stat-wise in some situations, but it’s just not anywhere near as fun. Heck, even the special attack on the foxy caped suit, when worn with the hat, is much more fun. (Plus it has the term “foxy” in the title, so… yeah.) I just can’t see any time where I would actually use this.

So, you know, I won’t get it. Nothing wrong with it. If you want such advantages, go for it. I just can’t justify it, especially when I play the game, unfortunately, much less than I used to.
Oh well. Not like I can expect every IoTM to be aimed towards me, hm?

And now, I launch a new ongoing feature, where I point at something and say “What is up with that?”

Okay, this probably isn’t a new ongoing feature. But I’ve recently been pondering a little stupid thing and I wanted to share.

Why is it that iTunes lists podcasts with the latest episode on top, and my iPod Touch lists them with the oldest episode on top?

I’ve always thought of Apple as being these masters of the user experience. As much as I’m going to stick with PCs, I have to admit that Macs are pretty slick and easy to use, and I certainly think that iPods are, easily, the best MP3 players on the market, now that my iPod Touch has made me a believer. They just know a thing or two about how to make sure what you need is always in front of you, but no more than that. They tend to force most programs that run on Macs to adhere to this unified look and structure. Even Word for Mac is completely different than what Microsoft is doing on PCs, because Apple demands it to be such.

How can something so stupid and simple slip by them?

I mean, really. That’s such an easy, simple change. It’s such a little part of the user experience, but it’s constantly in front of the user. One thing I LOVE about my iPod Touch is that I can start a podcast on iTunes, and then sync it and immediately be where I was in my iPod, and vice versa. With that being a feature, you’d think they’d unify that sort of thing. I really don’t understand why it’s different.

What’s up with that, Apple?

Things with my Camwhore are getting a bit awkward.

Recently, I’ve been playing a lot of Forumwarz in my office in between things. Gotta squeeze in the entertainment while I can, you know? I’ve been really gung-ho with Forumwarz, even after beating the game with my Emo Kid. So I got back to my Camwhore, lyricalvixen, which I had played a bit with before, and started working her through the game.

Now that I’m getting to the higher levels, though, it’s… making me really self-conscious. All of my Emo Kid’s attacks were hilarious, and were not particularly safe for work. But they were all text. Someone would actually have to hunker down next to me to see such things. Camwhores, though… well, they post pictures, of course. Currently, my most powerful attack is “Hand Bra,” which posts basically nude pictures of women, only their hands or arms are covering their breasts, and it’s cropped to not show any pussy. Now, this a completely appropriate attack for a Camwhore, of course. And it’s not like the images aren’t appealing. They are. It just makes me really jumpy when I’m running through, pwning a forum, and I hear someone coming. I feel like I have to hide the screen.

And it’s only going to get worse, I’d expect. From what I can tell, the Camwhore’s ultimate attack is “Post Vagoo.” Will it really show such things? I think it’s possible. I think about how embarrassed I’ll be when I’m playing the game then, and… yeah. Harsh.

I guess this is a benefit to some people, though. I remember Jick saying that was the whole reason he was playing a Camwhore on the Jick and Skully show. I suppose I’m lame, and I’m really into it for the “role play” of that class. It’s the idea of pretending to be a Camwhore that’s appealing, not seeing naughty pictures. I can find naughty pictures elsewhere! It’s the internet, for crying out loud!

Anyway, this isn’t going to stop me from playing the game. It’s still fantastic. I just might stop listening to things while I play, so I can notice when people sneak up behind me. The people at the office don’t, in general, get non-Facebook internet culture. Explaining the entire game of Forumwarz to them may prove difficult, if I need to get myself out of an awkward situation. Heh.

On our last episode of Being Social, I was talking about how weird, but cool, it was to be running around with people outside my normal friend group. And now, the thrilling continuation of that post.

On Sunday, things happened.

Basically, Cara invited me out to lunch. I’m like “Sure, I can grab some food,” so I went out. Then Cole joined us. Then we came back here, played Soul Calibur of all things (We had had a long discussion about Ivy during lunch) and made Dungeons and Dragons characters.

Then Essner called, and wanted to throw down in some Arkham Horror.

This “mixing of friend groups” is not something I have had a lot of experience with. Certainly, if nothing else, the sorts of conversations I have with Cara and Cole are, in a large part, different from what I have with Essner, Spaeth, and so on. They’re all awesome people, but I honestly had no idea if they would mix well. My only previous experience with this, really, was Natalie, and she just didn’t really click with my friends at all. She was a completely different type of person.

Still, I wasn’t going to let nervousness get in the way of fun, so soon, Essner, Ben, Essner’s uncle Terrence, and Justin Spants showed up at the scene, and we got down to some Arkham Horror. I set out the millions of decks of cards, and we prepared to stop Yig, though we figured that wouldn’t be too hard, since we found out from Wikipedia that Yig is “easily pleased.”

Yeah, we had a blast, though. Cole and Cara were joking right along with everyone. They took to the game pretty well. (Cole, especially, commented on how fun Arkham Horror was.) Sure, I stepped in to make sure some inside jokes were explained, but that was just more fun, as I got to retell the stories, and everyone laughed at them. It was a really damn good time, and they fit in pretty damn well. My nervousness was completely unfounded. The night ended with Cara and Cole commenting that I had some pretty awesome friends.

And you know what? I do. All around. And doing things with them? Completely awesome. I’m stupid to be worried.

Anyway, I’m going to have to get them involved in more geeky board game fun sometime. There’s a whole world of board games I have yet to show them! Yes. Yes… heh heh…

More and more, I’m being social, and it’s kind of weird.

I never think of myself as being Anti-social. I’m very social online, and I can hold my own with other people. It’s not really something that I’ve ever felt I had a problem with. However, I have, for the most part, stuck to my own circle of friends. I’ve known them forever, and they’re completely awesome. I don’t regret a thing. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Hanging out with them, though, has a very particular dynamic, and I’ve become used to it.

Now, suddenly, I’m hanging out with people from school. Fellow TAs and whatnot. It feels weird.

Again, I don’t feel like I’ve been sheltered, perse, but when I interact with these people, in this very different environment, I feel like I know so little about this stuff. I don’t do bad. I have fun, and I’m not awkward. At least, not any more than I am naturally, and not in a way that makes me uncomfortable. But it’s such a fucking unknown. Everything with my normal circle of friends is a complete known quantity. Hell, how everyone I hang out with online is also a known quantity, for the most part. There are no surprises, just good times. Not being able to completely predict how Cole or Cara or whoever are going to react is… interesting to me.

Frankly, it’s probably good for me.

I know I state this point over and over again on this blog, from time to time, but that’s only because it’s important. The idea that I will move away at some point is scary, but true. After I get my master’s I’m either going to go on for a PhD or get a job somewhere where my editing skills could be put to use. Neither seems likely to happen in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. At some point I’m going to have to move away. If I get lucky enough to move to somewhere where I already know people, using the power of the internet, so much the better. But more than likely I’ll just have to make new friends and such from scratch.

It’s good to break out of my bubble. It’s good to have fun with new people. It’s good for me. And unlike vegetables, it’s fun. I should push for it more. I shouldn’t hesitate and be safe. Hell, I’m in the process of making one of the least safe moves I will ever make in my life via transitioning. Going out with people who are not Matt Essner or Justin Spaeth is not that hard, right? Of course not.

Not that I’m going to abandon the awesome friends I have. Just… should be open. I should be social. That’s a good thing.
It’s a good thing.