The Blogtastic Blogfest That Is Getmeoutofthis.net!

So I finally got around to playing through Penny Arcade: On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episode 2. The experience was significantly enjoyable. The original game has one major conceptual problem and one stupid problem that bothers me. Surprisingly, for this episode, they fixed the major issue and not the stupid problem.

The major problem with episode 1 was the fact that there was like 2 locations and you went to them like 30 times over and over again with new monsters on fetch quests. That was really not cool. The writing was up to Penny Arcade’s awesome standard, and the combat was surprisingly engaging, but the story, being a series of fetch-quests, was less than compelling.
They really fixed that with this game. Granted, there was maybe one more area than in the last game? But they make you go to them in an intelligent fashion. Instead of doing one thing, and then being sent on a quest, and then doing that, then being sent on another quest, you start with one objective, which slowly balloons much more naturally until you have a bunch of inter-connected quests, each of which requires going from area to area several times, but you’re doing it to figure out how to comply with the odd quests you’re given in a much more organic way, so it’s much, much less annoying, and actually makes the whole game feel more… significant. Well, that and some of the story.

Hey, this next two paragraphs have plotish spoilers, so… skip that, if you want. Until the next empty line.
The game did some very, very awesome things with Penny Arcade-style cameos and reusing of characters from the last episode. The killing off of basically every character you met in last and this episode so quickly and at random was actually a fairly effective storytelling device. I’m not connected to these people in the same way that I’m, say, connected to my dog in Fable 2, but in most of the episodic games, once a character shows up, they keep reappearing, because it’s easy to do and effective. Seeing these people again made it seem like the pee doctor and whatnot would be coming back again and again. And then bam. Dead. All bets were off, and they made it clear that they are going to make the story they want, no matter what, and nobody is really safe in this world. It was nice, and also fit with the crazy-ass brutality of the world, as well. Villains in the world they’ve created WOULDN’T just walk in and give a speech. They really would kill everyone. If this is a world where I can murder random annoying people with gardening tools, the villain can totally destroy every single person he wants to.
I also got really, really excited when I met Dr. Raven Darktalon Blood. His assist attack was effective, but nothing like what I was expecting. Then, at the end of the game, the preview for the next episode made it damn clear that he’s going to be an important part in it. I. Can’t. Wait. He’s just a hilarious concept that could be rolled into this game so, so well. I really can’t wait to see what happens.

The stupid little thing they didn’t fix was the fact that the text is barely, barely readable on an SD TV. It is hurt my eyes small. I was hoping they would fix that before the next episode, and they did not. Stupid bastards, a lot of people still have Standard Def! Stop being dicks! Still, it didn’t ruin the game overall. It was just annoying.

But yeah, still, this game was fun times, and I’m signed up for the other two episodes, especially now that they dropped the price per episode to the more palatable $15. I mean, if you like solid, Mini-game and timing based RPG combat and Penny Arcade’s writing style, you really can’t go wrong. Really.

I was testing out the NXE’s new “start downloads from your PC” feature when I noticed the existence of Domnio Master, the ultimate online domino experience. When did this come out? I had to try the demo.
Why? Well, two reasons. One, Uno on XBLA is hella fun, really. Not having played any with Talking Time people is actually kind of a problem I’d like to fix. I’d have nothing against more good, fun, simple games like that on XBLA. Two, I do have kind of an odd relationship with Dominoes. I never get to play them, but I have a kind of odd obsession or affinity with them after reading Nymphomation and loving it, much like I like all of Noon’s Vurt mythology stuff. So if it was a really compelling Domino game, I mean, who knows? I might buy it.

The first reason I didn’t buy it, of course, was the fact that it costs 10 bucks. Seriously? I have fully-featured Dominoes in Clubhouse Games, which only cost me, what? 20 bucks? It even has online play of a sort. So, yeah, no value.
The second is that it just has a really weird vibe. I got into a game, and the computer AI I was up against in the demo was a picture of a Fox wearing green shades with the handle “FoxyLady1991”. What am I supposed to make of that? I mean, is this AI supposed to be 14 years old? And if so, why is she foxy? Is it just a furry thing? I mean, that would be okay, but that would be weird to put in the game, I guess.
The last reason, though honestly I didn’t need any more but the price, was the fact that the game refuses to streamline anything. I would pick to place a bone, and there was only one option of where to put it, and it would still require another press to pick which play I want to make. That’s just kind of silly. There shouldn’t be that extra button press there.

In any case, seriously, Domino Master? When the hell did that come out? I mean, I pay attention to these releases. Why didn’t I know this? Huh? Did it slip under everyone’s radar? Where’s the 1up Review of this?

Well, at least the cuing the downloads on the PC worked perfect and awesome.

So, Left 4 Dead is a lot less fun when you can’t communicate.

I mean, I knew this already. Talking with friends while doing something? Almost always improves a gaming experience. Hell, friends improve almost any activity, do they not? Even like, you know, sex with friends is better than sex with strangers. Maybe. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

In any case, the last time I played Versus mode, in the first round I encountered a pretty shitty bug. We started the game in split screen, letting Jonathan and Essner try the Infected. Split-screen works alright for the campaign, but it is nigh unplayable online. There just isn’t time for the one person with a headset to go between and co-ordinate both the other split-screen player and the people on the headset. Add to that the fact that you can mostly forget about your computer partners in offline co-op, because the AI is so good. You need to know where everyone is in online games, and you simply can’t see enough. Finally, when you’re playing as the infected, this helpful info box is on the screen. However, it basically covers the ENTIRE split-screen area, making it completely impossible to set up ambushes well, since you can’t see until you spawn. Don’t play split-screen online, kids.
In any case, eventually they left and so I left the game, killed the split-screen, and jumped back into the game, only to find I could no longer talk to people on my team. This. Sucked. All the energy and excitement I had in Left 4 Dead the first time I played with it online was all gone. It was a depressing experience of frustration.
Eventually, I figured out that what was causing all my chatter to disappear was having a Guest signed in who wasn’t playing. After I logged the guest back out, I could talk and communicate again, and then the game got completely awesome again. Still, it was pretty striking how such a great game can get so much less than great without friendly banter and strategizing. At the very least, it convinced me to never, ever attempt an online game of this. At least, not without having friends fill up my entire team and murdering the random XBL kids.

So it looked like I was going to have to jump into Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People Episode 4… you know, I’m done with references. Sorry.

But seriously, Dangeresque 3 did not fail to deliver. It was pretty completely great. They went the extra mile to make the episode actually look like a Dangeresque movie, from the quick cuts to Strong Sad for stunts to the camera occasionally getting distracted like a bad cameraman should to horrible editing in the game that leaves in things you shouldn’t see. It’s just… perfect. And hey, it was actually in 3D, just like it was promised. Still, I bet people who are big Strong Bad fans could be kind of upset by having such a heavily demanded and loved thing actually be done in the game. But if they were such a fan, why weren’t they buying the games anyway? Bastards.
The puzzles themselves were actually fairly puzzle-y too, in parts. This is the first episode of SBCG4AP where I’ve had to look up an answer because I was frustrated. Granted, the solution was actually very meta, so I don’t blame myself for not getting it, but it was the first time these games have stumped me.
I feel like if I talk about it too much, I’ll spoil some of its awesome. So I won’t. But this game’s humor got me out of not one but two fairly shitty moods. It’s great, great stuff. I would probably put it as better than Strong Badia the Free, which was my favorite episode before this one. Granted, it was pulling from and counting on a LOT more in-jokes than Strong Badia the Free which was mostly all original content, which I can appreciate. But seriously, it was the best yet. If you like Strong Bad, you deserve to play this game. You’ll laugh.

So I got Left 4 Dead and I’ve had one solid night of trying it.

Holy crap. Seriously.

We only had 6 players, but with 8 players? It would be bliss. This is by far one of the best multiplayer games around. Hands. Down.
We started by playing the Campaign, of course. Four of us trying to beat No Mercy. Advanced is much harder than in the demo, it seems. We couldn’t beat it! Wave after wave… it was so very intense. And even though we kept dying, it was a ton of fun. Still, eventually we decided to try to see something else, and joined up with another couple of people, and played Versus mode.
Now, I wasn’t buying this game for the versus mode. I figured I wouldn’t like it much. Picking on people as the infected didn’t seem like fun, and I just wanted the co-operative teamwork of the campaign.
I was so very wrong.
Campaign mode is great, don’t get me wrong, but Versus mode is probably THE BEST competitive multiplayer experience I have been a part of. The sides are small enough to be intimate, and you are constantly working with each other and talking strategy on both sides of the equation. It plays different as the survivors because, with the increased special zombie count and knowing there are human players behind them, you really have to be careful about things like stopping to heal… anything. You have to clear rooms, check every one for an ambush. I mean, you do in the single player, to the extent, but knowing your opponents are scheming makes it even more intense.
And the Infected! Dammit, that was fun shit. I expected it to be boring, since you spend the majority of your time respawning. But now, you’re spending that time scheming with your fellow zombies and cheering them on when they manage to pounce someone or get a swarm after them. I thought it was going to be a more solo rogue experience, but you are just as co-ordinated and a team as the survivors, and when you catch them in a good trap, it’s fucking sweet. But that just makes you all the more nervous next round, knowing they’re trying to top it.

I am so high from… gods, what, three hours of gameplay? A versus match is an all night affair, but it is a FUCKING SWEET all night affair. I hope we can play so, so many more of these. And that’s just the first impression from ONE CAMPAIGN. I haven’t even tried the levels that weren’t in the demo yet.

Man, I can’t fucking wait.

So I saw Quantum of Solace on Sunday. The basic idea is that if you even mostly liked Casino Royale, you’ve got to see this film. I feel like I don’t have to tell you that, though, if you were a fan of the Craig Bond. This won’t have spoilers or anything.
The action was mostly non-stop. The movie rarely takes a breather, and when it does it’s mostly just to explain some plot and normally has some interesting things going on in the background anyway to keep your attention. The movie is shot in such a way that you get confused, but not TOO confused. I assume this is to sort of simulate how crazy actually fighting someone can be. Not that I’ve actually fought someone to be able to tell you or anything.
But yeah, Craig’s Bond is an unending badass who gets some laugh out loud badass lines and fucking murders everyone. And yet, somehow, they’ve managed to give him some characterization without it feeling forced, cheesy, or unnecessary. He feels like a real person and not a superhero. Granted, that just makes moments where he impossibly survives without major injury kind of stupid, but you rarely care, because oh shit, here comes yet another fight scene.
That’s something different about Quantum from Casino Royale. There is no downtime. Casino Royale took a little bit of slower time to have Bond do some actually spying. In Quantum, if Bond starts trying to gather information, you know there’s going to be a guy for him to beat to death jumping out from somewhere in moments. It doesn’t get quite to the point where you don’t buy it, either. The movie walks that line really well on a lot of fronts.
The most disappointing thing, by far, was the title sequence. As much as I would have liked to have seen Bond get into a boss battle with four giant naked women, it just doesn’t work nearly as well as Casino Royale’s. I mean, take a look at it. Cool card imagry connected with how much of a murderer this Bond is. Nice. I think part of the problem probably was… what the hell was Quantum of Solace about? If you don’t know that, it’s hard to make a neat sequence that captures the film easily.
I do think it’s odd that I can be half-confused about what the movie was about and still think it was completely awesome, though. I mean, I think I get the plot, mostly, but it’s going to require another viewing (When I get it on DVD. I mean, I probably won’t see it in a theater again. Gods, I have no time for this stuff.) to get it completely. We stood in the parking lot after the film discussing what we didn’t understand, even as we were all going “Damn, that was a great movie.”

And seriously. Damn. That was a great movie.

Call of Duty: World at War is the best WWII mod for Call of Duty 4 available. I don’t regret my purchase? But I would suggest that most people just give it a rent and enjoy a quick play through of the single player unless they’re gung-ho about the multiplayer aspects.

That’s the short version. Here’s the long version: Call of Duty 4 has a fucking great engine, and as such, it’s no surprise at all that a game made with that engine to emulate that game plays awesome. It also has all those WWII weapons I fell in love with back in CoD2, so that’s nice. The Gewher is still my weapon of choice. Heh. The game also has co-op, which was the only thing CoD4 was missing. It’s kind of the saving grace of the game, though. The Single Player suffers from Me-too-ness. Most of the memorable sequences in CoD4 are recreated in this setting with a little twist. “Being Taught How To Snipe Level”? Check. “Manning a Gun Plane”? Check. Even the flipping back and forth between two stories is done, although here, it is for absolutely no reason whatsoever, instead of creating the narrative of CoD4. That’s really a problem: WWII is done to death. You would have to almost completely deviate from history to make a compelling narrative out of WWII at this point. CoD4 actually had a story, because it got to write a story, and it was much better for it. Still, Co-op makes everything better, and this is no exception at all. If you have a friend, you’ll have a good time.
But most of the single player is fun but forgettable, honestly. It doesn’t help that they went out of their way to do flame physics, and thus “flamethrower it” is the solution to almost everything in the game. It gets really annoying, because the flamethrower is not all that fun to use, after awhile. The first few times, it’s a lot of fun burning up grass to stop would-be ambushers. But then it makes you do it for like 4 more levels, and you realize how vulnerable you can be running forward with the flamethrower trying to hit people. It gets frustrating. What’s also frustrating is how, since there were no flamethrowers used all that much in the Russian campaign, they give you Molotov cocktails as your special grenades. It is extremely hard to kill someone with one of those, the animation to throw them takes about an hour, leaving you out in the open getting shot, and it takes up the place of smoke grenades, which are insanely useful against AI opponents. Many frustrating sections would have been a lot easier if I could have had just one smoke grenade instead of those stupid firebombs. Ugh.
Multiplayer, like the single player, is pretty well just re-purposed CoD4. However, that’s a great, great thing in my mind, as CoD4’s multiplayer was one of the first I really seriously got into in a shooter. It’s still just as fun, too. Many people are saying the dog summon, which replaces the helicopter summon, is more annoying. I completely disagree. If you’re paying attention, you can deal with the dogs. It’s hard to do more than hide in a building until the helicopter runs away, unless you’re carrying an RPG, and even then, you only have two tries and will probably miss both times. Then again, I suppose the helicopter can only be bothering one person at a time, so maybe it’s a tradeoff. In any case, though, the maps are completely great as well. They’re well-thought-out and I can’t think of any that annoy me. It’s a fun time. If you’re bored of CoD4’s multiplayer, this will easily scratch that itch. It’s enough new to get me back into multiplayer games, anyway.
The final piece of this puzzle is Nazi Zombies. I have no fucking idea why this is in the game. It starts up right after the credits, which kind of kills the sense of “war is a real thing” that they were trying very hard to foster by using real film clips and shit throughout the campaign. Still, it honestly looks like a lot of fun. You have to build up points to buy weapons, and you have to keep rebuilding these barricades as they get knocked down, and you can play with four players… it seems like a good time. At the same time, uh, I’m about to pick up Left 4 Dead, which is a much fuller experience, so it might be kind of moot.

Anyway, there’s some extended impressions. If you have it and are playing online on the 360, let me know, but again, probably don’t buy it unless you’re going to get your Team Deathmatch on. There are too many other great things coming out right now.

UPDATE FROM SEVERAL DAYS AFTER I WROTE THIS ORIGINALLY! The game randomly deleted my save, meaning I can’t pick any level but the first for co-op and can no longer play Nazi Zombies! Why is all of this locked? Why does the game hate me? Well, it worked, because I now hate this game. All developers making games with locked content, ESPECIALLY multiplayer content, should be shot and killed. I want to play what I paid for. Bastards.

What? November IoTM Impressions? Don’t mind if I do.

Twilight Heroes has the Judo Kid Gloves on tap this month. They are… well, they look fairly unappealing at first glance. I was underwhelmed but assumed they would be fun. I was mostly right about the fun, but still, it’s very situational. Obviously, these only work if you have a steady supply of sidekickness, which is actually kind of rare for some classes who can’t summon their own in the game. You almost need the Plaid Couch to make it worthwhile. Luckily, I have 2, so I’m making good use of it. The +50% effectiveness comboed with the Mafia Informant it putting my chip drops through the roof. I’m wearing less +chip gear and getting more chips than before. It’s wonderful. The extra PP and Damage are also always appreciated. The extra PP effect can actually trigger during non-combats, too, which is just weird but neat.
Basically, though, it doesn’t do a lot. It just improves what was already good. It’ll get used if you get one, but, well, this might be an IoTM you can safely skip.

Now the Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Sticker Tome was an IoTM I was SERIOUSLY looking forward to. I’ve enjoyed all my other magic books, and I figured filling up that last slot on my Mystical Bookshelf would be really great. Not to mention the idea of a customizable weapon was just an awesome one.
I was quite disappointed.
I mean, the item is powerful, don’t get me wrong, but it’s completely just a series of buffs held back by the need to equip a weapon. That’s fine, I suppose, but it… well, I can’t seem to find many times when it would be worthwhile to load up a Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Sword with stickers and use the benefits. I mean, okay, it often would be worth it. But it’s never worth it enough for my stingy ass to use up the items. It doesn’t help it that some of the best uses for it, getting stats, are rather eclipsed by my Naughty Fortune Teller.
I mean, I suppose the real benefit of this is not in softcore, but in hardcore. There the extra stats from the Apple Stickers would be very useful, and getting a good sword with neat effects early would be more significant, since I can’t just pull my Haiku Katana or whatever. If you’re in hardcore, I’m sure it’s a great help. But for someone all softcore like me… it just feels like it doesn’t do quite enough. It disappoints me.
Maybe if I’d just get over myself and use my items, though, I wouldn’t have that problem. Hm. Either way, though, “Accepts Bedazzlement” is a great-sounding enchantment, isn’t it?

The following contains Fable 2 spoilers. Like, I talk about every major plot point. So… keep that in mind.

The game was great. I never played the original Fable to compare it to, but damn, this was a great little game. Perhaps not QUITE as super as Molyneux would have you believe. But this is a game everyone with a 360 needs to play. Hell, if you don’t want to do sidequests? The main quest is fairly short, I’m sure you could rent it beat it over a weekend and still have a great experience.
The thing that really quite shocked me about the game, though, was how much I cared about what was going on. There were several points in the game that gave me serious emotional hits, and I want to talk about them, which is why this is so spoiler-y.
The beginning, sure, has a hit right up front with the death of your sister you’ve been running around with thus far. Her voice actor is great (all the voice actors in the game are, really) and you really feel close to her by the time you get to that point. But still, you expect a tragic beginning to get you into your life of heroing, so that one doesn’t leave you with much. Still, it’s done well.
The point where it first really hit me was when I was forced to be taken as basically a slave and waste 10 years of my life just to rescue this guy I was told I needed, but didn’t know what for. That really upset me, not only because it did a good job of making you make choices during this time so you could feel oppressed, but because, dammit, that’s ten years! I had a lesbian wife! I was a real-estate investor! I had an in-game life, and throwing it all away for some guy I didn’t even know seemed horrible. I left that quest thinking that, if I was really my character, the quest would end the moment I got free. Fuck this hero stuff. I think the fact that that was my first reaction to it means something. I mean, the game is created for you to go on adventures, and the game managed to create an emotional situation where I didn’t want to sacrifice anything anymore. I didn’t want to adventure anymore. That’s skillful shit.
Of course, I continued because I wanted to beat the game. The game just kept bringing the hits after that. The side quests continued to be funny and touching, but the main quest kept being emotional and depressing. I had to recruit the final “hero” who is an evil dick. A charismatic, funny evil dick. You know, one of those truly evil people that just entertain you to listen to? Yeah. But first I had to go on a quest to talk to this shadow council, and they were going to sap the life force from the person who held this evil seal that I was tricked into carrying, just to keep this dick alive for another hundred years or whatever. I could have pawned it off onto an innocent and have her life force taken, but dammit, I’m not going to do that shit. So I got old. Granted, I looked good with grey hair. Distinguished. But that made me angry, too. And when I walked back to him to start the end game… well, he kept killing artists making portraits each time I visited him, and this final time, Barnum, an NPC you have many quests with throughout the game and who is very entertaining, was taking his picture. And he kills him too. It made me pissed. It really annoyed me I couldn’t murder this person because of the quest. I was seriously, seriously angry at that moment.
The final hits come in the very end game, of course. Lucien, the bad guy, tells me he personally murdered my wife. It shocked me that this affected me. Your family is not especially robust. They don’t have an interesting personality, from what I can see. Still, I went back to her over and over throughout the course of the game for a roll in the hay to refill my health, and she kept giving me experience potions. I was glad I got married, and then, once again, this stupid-ass quest kept me from being there to stop people. It hurt. And of course, finally, he shoots the dog, which is the last fucking straw. You get closer to that dog than ANYONE in the game. It is so charismatic, cute, and useful. If the game wanted me to hate the bad guy, it did a damn good job.
In the end game, you’re forced to pick one of three fates. To revive all the people murdered by Lucien, except your family and loved ones, to revive just your family and loved ones (including your dog, of course) or get really wealthy. Obviously I’m never going to pick the riches, but dammit, I really debated picking Love. I was planning on picking Love. But the game really put me in an emotional state where I had to think about things. I deserved to have my family back, but so did everyone else in the world, and I couldn’t deny that to them. The point is, though, I made the choice with my heart. Bravo, game. Seriously. That means you did a spectacular job.

Still, when it puts you back into the game afterwards, and my dog wasn’t there beside me… man.

The point of all this is, even if the game does have some flaws (huge-ass load times, fairly linear when sort of advertised as otherwise, really kind of annoying interacting with people through expressions system) it does an amazingly good job of emotionally involving you in your decisions, if you let it. Gaming needs way, way more games that do that. Fable II will probably not get game of the year from anyone, but it deserves a lot of praise, in my book.

Yesterday, I met a legend.
Throughout the halls of Kohl’s, there have always been whispers of a certain customer. She’s the wife of a doctor. She demands constant attendance by an associate at all times. She spends more than I make in a week in the store every single week. She is infamous. Everyone hates her.
I finally got to meet her, and she was everything I was told she would be. And more! As I was forced to follow her around carrying about candles and pillows, I was struck by how little money meant to her. She’d go “What’s this?” And I’d say “Oh, that’s such and such.” And then she would go “Well, I can’t pass that up. Here, carry it for me.” She would buy double what she needed “just in case.” My favorite part, though, was when she suggested that she would get special treatment because “they know me here.” Oh goodness. If only she knew how true that was.

I had some other things to talk about… oh yeah, I wanted to talk about SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands. It was good! I was saddened by the surprising LACK of Coach Z raps. I assumed there would at least be one full song in there. Not the case. But it was quite enjoyable. However, Strong Badia The Free was still a much better episode. The Hierarchy thus far goes 2>3>1 but they’ve all been great. The most impressive part, though, was the trailer for the next episode, where it was revealed that Episode 4 is Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. Oh Em Gee. At least Strong Bad didn’t lie when he said it would be in 3D, eh? Still, I feel like this makes my dream BisCasFri episode much less likely. Oh well, we’ll see. Anyway, if you like Strong Bad and haven’t ponied up the 35 bucks for this series, you are an idiot.

Everything else is going mostly okay, I suppose. This is where I normally state my IoTM opinions, but since KoL’s isn’t out yet, that’ll be another blog post, I think. Yeah. In any case, I’m going to go have a good day. No, seriously. I am.