I am hitting all the major genres! (?) Well, anyway, this is a poem in response to something my psychologist said to me, which is the title.<\/p>\n
\n“Those Shoes Look Very Feminine, But You Could Go Further.”<\/p>\n
Thanks, I guess?
\nTo be honest, my current war
\nis being waged against overcompensation.
\nWhen starving, you want to gorge,
\nfood shoveled into throat
\nwithout swallowing motion.
\nIt creates issues.
\nVomiting, projectile,
\nleaving you worse than before.
\nI will not lose my new-found womanhood
\nlurching over a toilet bowl
\nbecause I had too much cake too fast.<\/p>\nI understand your advice, though
\nas I really don’t fit enough stereotypes
\nfor my new life.
\nToo tall, too geeky,
\nuninterested in makeup and dresses,
\nI break the illusion daily
\nby not playing into the reasons
\neveryone claims to know I’m doing this.
\nIf I was born correctly, nobody would blink.
\nBut now? Well.
\nSurely I could be more of a woman,
\nbut here’s the thing:
\nBeing a woman was never the goal,
\njust a visible side effect
\nof my real aims,
\na beautiful, obvious scar
\nof the self-surgery I’m performing.
\nIt’s life-saving
\nand the pills I gulp are oxygen,
\nkeeping me alive.
\nEach inhale teaches me happiness,
\npreviously unthinkable,
\nand each exhale
\nremoves the constant urge to sleep
\nand never wake up.
\nI look in the mirror and I don’t see tears.
\nIt was always about survival.<\/p>\nThe breasts are nice
\nand the pronouns a godsend.
\nI should experiment with my options,
\nthe new multiple guesses on my test,
\nand I do, daily,
\nbut it’s less a mad dash
\nout of control.
\nIt’s a marathon,
\nfinding me in the sea of my world
\nand my female existence,
\nso if what you see doesn’t fit
\nwith the supposed ideal
\nand I’m crashing into walls,
\nflailing into furniture,
\nwith my chances of passing shattering
\nlike so many vases on the shelf,
\nwell,
\nI am alive.
\nIt’s my mess, for once.
\nThat’s why I’m smiling.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I am hitting all the major genres! (?) Well, anyway, this is a poem in response to something my psychologist said to me, which is the title. “Those Shoes Look Very Feminine, But You Could Go Further.” Thanks, I guess? To be honest, my current war is being waged against overcompensation. When starving, you want […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2842"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2842"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2842\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2844,"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2842\/revisions\/2844"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/getmeoutofthis.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}