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May 30, 2006
Phone Call and Life Shite
After worrying and wondering all day why Ashley didn't call me, it turned out my phone ate her call and she assumed she wrote my number down wrong! Sadness! But we got to talk just a bit ago. I knew she was awesome, but, um, she was awesome. And her voice was awesome. And apparently she was almost an Eagle Scout too, heh heh heh... and don't tell her I said so, because she told me not to, but her little yawny thing she did was beyond cute... I dunno... I'm glad we talked.
She did bring up me transitioning and shite... I'm not making any progress... I know that... but, I dunno... I'll be honest. Alot of my life is in front of this computer, and in front of this computer I am female to everyone I talk to. I still get depressed, but overall I'm just... it's all alright. I can be me on here, and I'm already pretty well me around my friends... that only really leaves random people and at work stuff, and although I would like them to see me as me... I don't know... if they ever really bother me, I know I can run back here, and sit in this chair and open up Trillian and Brer will be there to talk to and make me feel better... or if he's not there, probably another one of my friends will be... I know it's hiding from my problems. But I've always ran away from my problems. I'm alot happier than I used to be. Which is good. But it makes motivating myself to get what I need to get done done that much harder. I don't know...
Anyway...
Okay, been reading Red String today. It's... pretty generic Shojo fare, but it's free and the artist is pretty good and I heard her on Alpha Rant and she sounds like a nifty person, so I hope she succeeds. Anyway, if you need a Shojo fix, there it is.
I haven't played HoMM 5 in awhile. Man. I keep getting distracted by internet things. I need to get back to playing. It's still awesome. It should still run in a window.
I wonder if I'm really happy. I mean, I don't get depressed quite as much as I used to, like I said... but I never sleep... and I get to feeling so empty and pointless most of the time when I don't have someone to talk to... I'm probably leaning on my friends too much to make me happy... I should really have something that motivates me enough to do it, and feel good about it, maybe... I don't know. I never really know.
Posted by poetfox at May 30, 2006 01:13 AM
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