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February 13, 2005
Random, fairly angsty ranting. Also, new fanfics, and then some random WoW notes.
New Fanfics are up. Mine sucks utter balls but got second. Go figure.
I wish I could stay up and talk to Draco until Valentine's, but I probably won't be able to... however, thanks to Monster House, I probably will be able to tommorow, so huzzah for that. ^_^
I've leved up a shitload, it feels like, this weekend. This pleases me. World of Warcraft is still fun, even if I'm not playing every waking hour anymore. Funfun. I am looking forward to seeing how the battle system from Baiten Kaitos works. I hope it's to my liking. I'm stealing it from Spaeth tommorow. Huzzah.
So I had a job interview today... I really hope I get hired. My mom wasn't even happy with me trying to get a new and better job because I might sweep things every once and awhile. Bah. At one point in time, I agreed with her, that I need to get a better job, one that's in my field. But you know what? I really don't anymore. I sorta don't care. I want to move out and live my life and enjoy it. I want to teach, I want to graduate, but when I try to do these things and my parents are constantly bothering me about them, it's no fun. As long as I enjoy my life, I really don't care if I have a superultra job or not. I want to work, go home, and play games and fuck my lovely and hang out with people and just HAVE FUN. That's it. That's what I want. I don't really care too much what I'm doing to achieve that... I wanted to make her happy and proud, but that just makes me stressed and nervous, so I sorta gave up on that.
That's not all true... it's just my current feeling at the moment. Once I feel like my life has stabilized (It's close, but it's far from there) I'm sure such things will be important to me again. But for now, no. I just want my life back. I hate living my life in a way that makes me feel I'm not me and nobody cares about me. I'm taking it back. Hopefully, anyway.
I would like to feel like I can be in the same room with my parents again, though. That's a biggie... I can't stand to be in a room with them anymore because I feel like they're going to pin me down and then just talk about how much I embarrass them or let them down. I run away, I plan things so I'm not there... I don't want to be near them because I don't want them to do that. I'd like to talk and be close. But they don't care about what I consider important in my life... I can't even tell them I have a wonderful boyfriend because I'm sure they'd freak out and ban me from the computer or something stupid...
Bah, I'm just... annoyed... with everything right now.
Lovely, I'm sorry your Valentine's Gift is going to be so late, but I do hope you like it... and I think I'm going to get you something for White Day, to make up for my lateness and suckiness...
Um, and I think Spaeth and I are going to take VanCleef next weekend, maybe? That would be nice. I need to make sure I take screenies to share.
Posted by poetfox at February 13, 2005 10:00 PM
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