December 24, 2008

I have straightened the A’s.

So, the results are in, and I got all A’s. Even after those bitches of finals there (Heh, I got a 75 on one, but my grade was so high I still got an A overall. And I somehow managed a near-perfect on the other final. Who knew?) I managed to pull it off. This is the first time that’s happened in a long time.

Still, it doesn’t really feel like a victory. I hadn’t worked this hard in so long, and it’s very obvious to me now why I didn’t. I got all A’s… so what? What does that get me? There’s nothing all that heartache and effort gained me, really. Just a bunch of letters on a piece of paper. I just… I don’t feel like it was worth the shitty time I had. I really don’t.
It’s not only that, but it’s the fact that I knew all along that if I tried I’d get all A’s. I’m smart, you know? I really am. Anything lower than an A on my part was always a matter of not applying myself enough more than not being able to do it. Actually getting the A’s is more of a “as it should be” than something I’d pat myself on the back about…

Still, I suppose I only have to do it all one more time, huh… I suppose I did gain that. But this really feels like an empty victory. I wish I wasn’t.

Hey, I guess it’s Christmas Eve, huh? Man, it’s come so fast… I don’t really believe it… heh, but Christmas is nice. Will be nice. Yes.

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